Archive for the ‘awkward moments’ Category

Remember that cool dude who would come by to check his blood pressure? He’s gone from cool to creepy. And from creepy to stalkerish.

He came by to check his blood pressure as usual, and before he left, he said “I feel like I see you here all the time! Do they make you work here every day?” I told him I actually only worked at that particular location just once a week, and that I was usually at another store the rest of the time. “Oh really? Where else?” I made the mistake of telling him. Because the next week, he FREAKIN’ SHOWED UP AT MY HOME STORE. Ok, kinda weird, but he didn’t bother me…just came by, waved hello, took his blood pressure and left. Again, kinda weird that he followed me from one store to another, but I still considered it harmless.

Then a few weeks later he comes by my home store again, says hello to me, and says “I haven’t seen you in 4 weeks! I’ve been coming here to check my blood pressure on the machine and you haven’t been here! That’s too long!” Hang on…you’ve been counting? And you came here continuously for FOUR WEEKS to find me? I admire the persistence, but most people would kinda give up after a while…and if you’ve got questions about your blood pressure, my other two colleagues are more than qualified to help you out, but I can see that’s no longer your primary purpose of visiting. Your status has instantly shot up from “kinda weird” to straight-up “creepy.” He asked for my business card so he can call to see when I’m here. I probably should’ve lied and said we didn’t have business cards, but I ended up giving him one, because I’m a terrible liar, and I figured if he called my store, he’d still have to weave through all the automated prompts and whatnot first, and even after that he’d probably end up having the phone answered by one of my technicians instead, so I’ve got somewhat of a filter already.

The next week, I was back at Store B (where this dude met me to begin with), and while I was working, he shows up AGAIN to take his blood pressure. I’m not sure why he’s at Store B this time around instead of following me at Store A, but he spots me, says hello, and tells me that he tried calling me at Store A, got frustrated with the automated prompts, and just decided to show up at the stores to see if I was there. You called, then went to Store A, and when you didn’t spot me there, you came here to Store B to find me?? Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?? Store A and Store B are pretty close to each other, but if you REALLY need to check your blood pressure, the machine at Store A would have worked just fine. Instead you decide to make an extra trip to Store B just to find me. How cute. And unsettling. Status has now been updated from “creepy” to “stalkerish.”

Then yesterday, the phone rings. And it’s him at the other end of the line. He seems WAY too excited to hear me. He says “Hello! It’s your friend Mr. Stalker! I finally got the courage to call! How are you doing?” Dude, this is my WORK PHONE. You don’t call me just to talk. You call if you have a question, if you need a prescription refill, even if you want to find out where the toilet paper is. But it’s NOT a freakin’ chat line. Even my friends and family don’t call me on this line just to chat. I put you on hold, and ask my technician to pick up the line, and tell her to tell him I’m with a patient (in which it actually turned out to be true, because once I put him on hold, a patient had walked up asking for a consultation). My tech is having a good laugh out of this, and after hearing her tell him repeatedly “Can I help you with something? No sir, she’s with a patient right now, but can I help you? I understand that, but she’s with a patient, is there something you need help with?”, he hung up. I think I need to start introducing myself as Optimus Prime when I answer the phone now.

Maybe I should break the blood pressure machines so I’d have to direct him somewhere else the next time he wants to see if he’s got a pulse.


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Last week two women came by asking where the nearest Kinko’s was. I told them I had a copy machine and I didn’t mind making them some copies as long as they weren’t looking for an obnoxious amount of paper. They happily accepted my offer and I went ahead and made 6 copies of a tattered sheet of paper they handed to me. They thanked me for helping them out, then asked if I wanted a copy. One of the women says “It’s a prayer…you can have a copy if you want!” I wasn’t brought up in a religious environment, but I’d look like an asshole if I didn’t accept a prayer, so I said I’d take a copy to be polite. The woman was about to hand it to me, then hesitated (maybe it was my ethnicity?), and asked “Are you saved? Do you believe in Jesus Christ?” I politely revealed that my family wasn’t Christian, thinking the conversation would stop there, and they would happily leave with their copies of the prayer. Instead, they offer to save me, and started praying for God to “remove my blinders” so that I can “see His light.” One of the women explains to me that when the “enemy” (aka Satan) deceives people, they aren’t aware that they’re being deceived, so sometimes they need those blinders to be removed before they can really find God. They then turn to me and ask if I would like to ask God to remove my blinders as well, and they would agree with me so I can be on the path to being saved. I politely told them I’d rather do it in my own time at home when I have more time to reflect on it. The woman says “That’s fine too! I can tell you’re the type who really wants to look into things first…God tells me these things. You seem like you’d really want to do your research first to make sure you know what you’re getting into…but definitely think on it when you get home! Thanks for the copies, and have a good night!”

Don’t get me wrong, they were actually really sweet and had good intentions, and while I was slightly offended, I can’t say I was angered by this gesture…just kind of baffled. I guess when I’m in a position where I’m constantly bitched at, hit on, or just plain pestered, getting some prayers is actually one of my more pleasant interactions with people in a span of a day. 🙂

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Apparently I got lucky last week and dodged a flurry of crazies, because my techs told me that after my shift, ALL sorts of nutty people came in.

  • There was a fly-by robbery. There’s an ATM positioned right next to the front door of the store, and a guy was just minding his own business, withdrawing some cash from the machine. As soon as the cash spit out, another guy snatched away the money and ran out the door. I can’t even imagine the FML moment the poor dude must’ve had as the robber literally bolted out the door with his cash.
  • A lady came in asking to use the restroom. Since our restroom is locked (for loss prevention purposes), my technician walked the woman down to the door to unlock it for her. Most normal people would thank us, walk into the restroom, end of story. But no…this lady made my poor tech PINKY SWEAR (her exact words, pinky swear) to go in with her and to watch the door, because she “doesn’t trust him”. Who’s him? We don’t know. My tech was generous (maybe TOO generous) enough to actually sit outside the door and keep watch, while she overheard the woman mutter to herself while she did her business. She washed her hands, and let my tech be on her way. My tech thought that was the end of it. Then while she was working back in the pharmacy, the same woman walks up to the consultation window along with a man (my tech told me the first thing she thought was “Holy shit, there IS a ‘him’!”), and the woman taps on the counter and in a boastful tone says “Consultation pleeease.” When the pharmacist (my poor co-worker) went over to the window, the woman pushes two pairs of sunglasses towards her and asks “Which sunglasses are better, the white ones or the black ones?” Are you f*ckin’ kidding me?? The  consultation window is for health and medication consultations, not freakin’ fashion advice. From what I was told, my poor co-worker just tried to give her a quick and vague answer so she could be on her way. Apparently the couple also came back saying something about how they couldn’t find some sunglasses, but the woman already had a pair sitting on her head. Eventually she called a manager to somehow get him to help us out a bit, where all he could do was take down their names and phone numbers, and said we’ll call them if we happened to find these missing sunglasses. And from there the nutcases went off into the night.

Yeeeah. I definitely lucked out. Let’s hope I keep up this nutcase-free streak. *knocks on wood* And if I jinx myself by posting this, I guess it’ll be up on this blog soon enough. 😛

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Here’s two scenarios:

  1. Dude casually walks up to my consultation window, and politely asks me where the lice shampoo is. I direct him to the correct aisle, he thanks me, and walks off.
  2. Dude walks up to my consultation window, flags me down, leans in, and uses a low voice that you would use more for admitting that you’ve just crapped your pants in public, and asks me where the lice shampoo is. I direct him to the correct aisle, and he silently wanders off.

In scenario 1, I could’ve assumed that maybe he had a child with a case of head lice that needed to be treated. In scenario 2, I KNOW the guy’s got crabs. Just chill out on asking where the lice killers are and it won’t be so obvious, dude.

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About a month ago I got a graduate intern at my store. On the first day that I met her, we were making small talk about where she went to pharmacy school, how she liked it there, etc. etc. We got into a conversation about bugs (she went to pharmacy school in a small town, and she didn’t like the bugs there), and she started telling a story about she found a massive roach and asked her fiance to kill it for her. While she was in the middle of her story, the phone rang, so mid-sentence, she picks up the phone and says:

“BigPharm Pharmacy, how may I kill you? OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry, I mean uh…how can I help you?”

This was within about 20 minutes of meeting her. I told her after an intro like that, we’d probably have a pretty good day.

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I was out at a British pub this morning to watch the England vs. Germany world cup game, when a guy walked up to my table and excitedly said “Hey!! You’re the BigPharm girl, right??” I was a little stunned, but then I recognized his face. I couldn’t remember the guy’s name to save my life, and I couldn’t remember if he was one of my good patients or one of my nutty ones, but either way I wasn’t going to be rude to the guy if he went out of his way to say hello to me in public. I said “Yeah! How are you doing?” He grabs my hand and shakes it furiously and says “You’re a sweetheart! Good seeing you here!”, and left me to watch the game.

I guess I can’t escape my job no matter where I go. 😛

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A girl waltzed into my store today and had all these big angry red rashes all over her. And she was in nothing but a bikini. She wasn’t fat, but she did have a bit of “love” hanging out from her swimsuit. 1) Why would you wear a bikini into a pharmacy, and 2) why would you wear a bikini if you’ve got a little bit of jiggle hanging out? She also had a friend with her, in which her friend was fully clothed, so I don’t know why she’d even think it’d be a good idea for her buddy to show up with some jiggle action in a bikini. But I digress.

She walks up to my consultation window and asks me what’s good to help with all these nasty rashes all over her. I ask if she’s come into contact with anything to cause the rash, because that would be the first step to finding out how to properly treat it. She starts snickering, composes herself, and then says no. I ask her if she’s been bitten by anything (although I doubted that it would be bug bites, since the rashes were all over and weren’t in sporadic spots), and again she said no. Her friend kept on giggling at her too. I asked if she had any food allergies, etc. etc….again, no. I asked her if she’s SURE she hasn’t been outdoors at all in the past couple of days…this time both she and her friend start giggling, and then she says no. She tells me she hasn’t been anywhere, she hasn’t eaten anything…she just woke up one morning with these rashes all over her. And both she and her friend keep on snickering and giggling. Obviously I’m not convinced. I give up on prying, and tell her to go with some benadryl at night and some hydrocortisone cream to put onto the rashes to cut down the redness and inflammation. She thanks me, and she jiggles her half-naked self back out of the pharmacy.

My conclusion? She probably had sex in the woods. My friend told me I should’ve told her to stop skanking around in poison ivy. That should do the trick.

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